The Breast Is Best

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) sent a plea to Ben & Jerry’s that would revolutionize the ice cream industry and save numerous cows from suffering. The answer: breast milk from women.

When I read this, I thought,”Brilliant! Why exploit cows, when we could just as easily have a warehouse of women being milked dry!”

Knowing that if breast milk were to catch on, PETA would have to give it a push out the door by using the catchphrase, "the breast is best."

PETA was bold enough to argue that cow milk is a not good for you. In PETA’s letter to Ben & Jerry, they state that, “Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.” That’s scary. What is even scarier is that the common household drug, Ibuprofen (Advil) has some similar side effects. Keep in mind that food, in general, causes obesity and diabetes. It’s not that I’m too stubborn to change, but they’re going to have to present a little more evidence that makes dairy products unhealthy.

I also wonder the effects of cutting dairy products out of my diet. I wonder if I could function just as well without having calcium or vitamin d.

I can’t imagine Ben & Jerry’s continuing to place their dangerous products on the shelves for their unenlightened costumers' consumption. In the case that Ben & Jerry’s did not immediately convert to breast milk, PETA had to be relentless.

PETA pointed out the lives of torment endured by cows. Cows are impregnated every nine months in order to continue producing milk. I guess the farmers don’t consider the cows feelings and if they even wanted to start a family. Those dang insensitive farmers! After a few years of this torture, they are butchered. Male cows are utterly(haha) useless on milk farms, so they are sold to veal farms where they are on death row, without parole! How can those farmers sleep at night.

Ben & Jerry’s has over 580 stores. That’s a lot of ice cream. That’s a lot of milk. If Ben & Jerry’s switches to breast milk, they would by providing a lot of women with jobs. But think of the work conditions. They would be forcefully impregnated every nine months. And the males would be shipped off away from their mothers. After a few years of this torture, they would be let go because Ben & Jerry’s would go out of business spending all of their money these women’s milk. Not to mention, no one would buy ice cream made from breast milk over cow milk. That’s just nasty.

I if wonder feminists would end up writing a letter to Ben & Jerry’s urging them to use milk from animals.

PETA, I appreciate your passion and concern, but how about you be realistic. Maybe the day will come when breast milk will be as common and as accepted at cow milk. If that day comes,women would be couped up in warehouses selling milk, while cows would be roaming the country side, enjoying their newfound freedom. PETA, is that your utopia?