I Don't Want To Vote, I Just Want To Go To Class

Two weeks ago, I was very content with my life. I could walk wherever I wanted without being bombarded with student body presidential hopefuls pleading for your vote. There is no way to get from one side of campus to the other without having your quietude disrupted by being handed a flier or a reminder that voting starts soon. I have tried every method to avoid them and determined the only methods to avoid these unwelcome intruders.

I thought that if I was preoccupied, listening to my ipod, then those handing out fliers might avoid me. I saw a group of people about 100 feet ahead of me wearing matching t-shirts and handing out neon green papers. My first attempt to avoid them involved turning up the volume on my ipod and I started jamming out, oblivious to the auditory world. I cautiously approached them, pretending to be entranced by my ipod to avoid them. Then I saw her… a beautiful blonde…her hair blowing in the wind… she had gorgeous blue eyes… and then we made I contact. She started making her way over to me. She said something to me and handed me a piece of paper. I couldn’t believe it, I had just gotten this babe’s number! Now I didn’t hear what she said because my ipod was turned up so loud, but it didn’t matter, I had her number! I looked down at the paper she had handed me and it read, “Vote ticket #1 Hatfield Corrigan.” I took a second look at her and she was wearing a matching campaign t-shirt. She had given me a flyer, not her number. What a let down! And I also learned that attempt #1 to avoid these trespassers upon my privacy had failed. Listening to your ipod is not a way to avoid them. I will try something different next time.

The next day, a crowd of people, obviously campaigning for student government, loomed off in the distance. I looked at a bike rack to my left and grabbed the one bike that was not on a lock. I cruised on toward them, prepared to fight my way through the masses. I made it past the first battalion of flyer-hand-out-ers without a problem. I guess my lightning fast speed on my newly acquired bike was too much for them to handle. I ended up making it through all of them and thought that I had found a way to avoid them. When I got to class, neon green flyers were overflowing from my backpack and out my pockets… somehow they had found a way.

All in all, I ended up trying multiple different ways to avoid the pesky campaigners. I told them things like, “Don’t you know me, I’m running against you,” or “I don’t go to Purdue.” I tried acting completely oblivious while having a conversation with them. I kept asking what position they were running for, what there name was again, where they went to school; anything to annoy them enough to leave me alone. No matter what I did, I ended up with a flyer.

I just want everyone to know that I am not going to vote in the election. I guess I am not practicing my duty as a college student. I just don’t see how the election or student government is that important, considering I hadn’t even heard of student government until last week. I figure they don’t do too much.